Dispatch Fans Have Figured Out Most Of Waterboy’s Thank You Note, And I’ve Never Been More Sure He’s The Canon Choice

George is the Lead News Editor for TheGamer and an advocate for wearing Psychonauts goggles whenever possible. He tries, bless him.
Dispatch fans have done god’s work and translated most of the illegible thank you note that Waterboy leaves Robert in the game’s third episode.
Although most Dispatch players have spent the last few months arguing whether Invisigal or Blonde Blazer is the game’s true romance (despite Visi clearly being the more popular pick), I’d argue that everyone is focusing on the wrong characters. The real MVP of the Z-Team is none other than Waterboy, who you can pick over Phenomaman in the game’s third episode.
If you do choose to mentor Waterboy instead of giving the depressed Superman-alike another chance, Waterboy will leave Robert a little thank you note and present on his desk. Unfortunately, thanks to how wet Waterboy is at all times, that note is nearly impossible to read. That is, unless you’ve got eagle eyes like some Dispatch fans.
Waterboy s Thank You Note From Dispatch Has Been Translated, And It ll Make Your Day
I m Judging Anyone Who Picks Phenomaman From Here On
Take Twitter user N3lgs, for example, who recently took the time to go through the message and try to translate as much as possible. A lot of the note is still too hard to make out, but it opens with Waterboy saying that he appreciates Robert for giving him a chance, before saying that he’s very thankful to him.
Adhoc Games evolves upon the Telltale formula in some incredibly ways with Dispatch.
The most heart-wrenching part of the note is when Waterboy says that it’s “the first time” he’s felt important to someone, which cements the choice to pick him over Phenomaman as the true canon one in my mind. The note ends with Waterboy saying that Robert should consider the donuts that he’s left for him as a “little tip” for choosing him.
To be fair, there’s a good deal of the letter that still hasn’t quite been figured out, which is partly due to Robert’s thumb covering a good portion of it, but also due to the water making a lot of the ink run. With what we can see, though, is the only proof you need that Waterboy is truly the heart and soul of the Z-Team. And I’m not just saying that because Joel Haver voices him.
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